Joy Hicklin-Bailey
Category: Tantra

Sex is Life, Life is sex - How does this help you have a rich and ever-fresh love life?

Sex is Life, Life is sex. All creative expression in life, allbeingness, has sexual energy at its root. Life is simply the interplay ofmasculine and feminine energy. Life is a dance of masculine consciousness andfeminine light. How does this esoteric or archetypal knowing help you have arich and ever-fresh love life? Simply because when all is made consciousthrough alchemical transformation, all sense of personal identity and limitationcan be released. You love to make love because you sense its capacity forultimate dissolution of opposites, ultimate freedom.


Asexual union is a dance between conscious, penetrating presence -themasculine- and yielding love and surrender -the feminine. This union is foundin all nature, in all things. An awake couple that has learned toconsciously polarize and also to dissolve into fusion, has a transformed,refined experience of sex energy. Physical ejaculation is, though pleasurable,of course and often relaxing, very limited when compared with consciouslovemaking between awake partners.


Justto clarify - this doesnt mean that if you are a man you always represent themasculine, or that if you are a woman you always live out feminineenergy. A heterosexual man living a full life knows how to express hisfeminine, a woman can live masculine energy. Gay couples, male and female, alsomove between these poles. With some relationships, one partner expresses moremasculine energy more of the time, and the other more feminine, more of thetime.


Yourown relationships with different partners may have shown you differentexpressions of these polarities. The dynamic can shift and change for youeach day or over the years, so that there is a shift in who is living themasculine, yang, leading polarity most and who is living the feminine,surrendering, receiving polarity most often. In any relationship, any timethese polarities can be reversed so that a man (or the one with most maleenergy) relaxes, is soft, vulnerable and yielding, and a woman (or the one withmost female energy)  becomes assertive, initiating, and penetratingwith her presence.


Ifyou play with these movements between poles intentionally, at home or in a workshop, it is fun and also full of learning and depth. It is atransformational way to experience your opposite sexual polarity moredeeply. This allows you to let go of any identification or attachment tofamiliar roles -a polarised couple is often a stuck couple.


Inawakened sexual intimacy, sexual partners come to each other in fullness ratherthan wanting. The man is realized as presence, empty consciousness, able tocontain all life, but he has also physically embodies that realization. Thewoman has not only experienced the essence of love, but she opens so much thatshe radiates love itself, from her whole body. In her body she lives thearchetypal feminine, which is, as women often are, paradoxical - theall-encompassing strength of absolute yielding, vulnerable surrender. You dont needto act out or try to be these qualities -rather simply consciouslypractice diving into your deepest essence. It isnt a doing or effort. Itis a being, with awakeness.


Awakenedlovers or partners do not meet sexually to get something (even physical pleasure)from each other, although this is there abundantly, in waves. They are notmeeting to love each other in a personal way, although they will be availableto give that love more fully than they could before awakening.


Theunion of male and female, of consciousness and light can happen inside theawakened human being. This inner alchemical wedding is a fine goal. When aself-realised man and a woman meet in sexually, the two polarities, male andfemale, yin and yang, consciousness and light, fuse and merge muchmore powerfully for most than happens within a man or woman. Both lovers areblessed with presence, love and light. Sex becomes love. Conflict becomesharmony, separation becomes oneness.


Thisunion can, and often does, occur within an individual. Conscious lovemakingfacilitates that ultimate healing. I will write more about the transformationsand benefits that conscious lovemaking can bring in another article soon.


wouldlove to hear your responses via email


alllove to you all


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